Find Your Purpose
In our busy world it can be easy to lose track of what matters. This can be an empty, unfulfilling way to live. In a January 2026 article for Psychology Today, The Paradox of Purpose, Jordan Grumet, M.D., a palliative care physician, cites studies that think our sense of purse to decreased mortality and increased sense of happiness. So this seems urgent but how do we find our sense of purpose without becoming more anxious?
Grumet suggests moving away from big goals and striving to keep it simple. He writes, “Finding joy and meaning in the day-to day activities that light us up is what matters.” It is the act of actually engaging in these activities that makes the difference. So allow yourself to let go of the big showy goals and focus on what is actually possible or achievable action.
Steven Hayes, a founder of Acceptance of Commitment Therapy, has long championed the importance of connecting with our values. He describes them as “chosen qualities of being and doing” that can be expressed in action (think of verbs and adverbs like “persisting”). He contrasts them with goals, which are defined as end-state achievements.
In a January 2023 article for Psychology Today, Hayes writes, “Your values not only tell you where to focus your efforts and energies but also provide you with a new source of motivation. The pain you have had to endure along your journey becomes much easier to bear when it is in service to your goals and values.” So our values point to what gives us the drive and courage to take important action.
Hayes’ website (stevenchayes.com) includes Kelly G. Wilson’s Valued Living Questionnaire. This list of 12 value domains can be used to rate their personal importance to us and assess our consistency in taking action in them.
1. Family (other than marital or parental relationships)
2. Marriage/couple dynamics/intimate relationships
3. Parenting
4. Friends/social life
5. Work
6. Education/training
7. Recreation/fun
8. Spirituality
9. Citizenship/community life
10. Physical self care (diet, exercise, sleep)
11. Environment
12. Art, creative expression, and aesthetics
There is no right or wrong in selecting which domains are most important to you. This tool simply helps us to determine if we are actually doing what we say is important to us. If the reality of what we are doing doesn’t match up with what we want to be doing, it is possible to change. This will involve work, but we should work with a clear purpose!
Hayes goes on to argue that, “Acting in line with your heart’s deepest desires brings a sense of fulfillment and vitality that no material wealth can match.”
So take the time to slow down, think about your current values, and reconnect with your personal sense of purpose.
