When Perfectionism is a Sign of Anxiety
Although many people seem to believe that being a perfectionist is ideal, this is often not the case. Instead, being a perfectionist is often a sign of underlying issues such as anxiety. Therefore, taking the time to understand the signs of anxiety is imperative to understanding when one's perfectionism has a toxic effect on their life. With that in mind, the following is an overview of when perfectionism is a sign of anxiety.
Why Perfectionism Can Increase Anxiety
Although it can be a tool that compels people to work harder, perfectionism can also increase anxiety. This is because perfectionism often comes from outside pressure. Those in our lives that have influence over us, such as parents, peers, managers, etc., may directly or indirectly pressure us to think, behave, and act in particular ways. This triggers an underlying feeling that one can never do enough for some people. Either way, when it isn't a physiological issue, it can be a learned obsession that is triggered by: unregulated guidance in childhood, abuse, or even the traumatic consequences of our own mistakes.
Perfectionism & Negative Thinking
The symbiosis of negative thinking and perfectionism is one to evaluate closely. When perfectionism isn’t benefitting your success-rate with personal goals, it can perpetuate an unhealthy obsession with failure avoidance.
So while it may feel like these fears are guiding you to take control of your life, it may actually be eroding your mental well-being. Over time, a fear of failure and imperfection may lead to issues like panic, paranoia, body dysmorphia, self-loathing, and discontent.
When Perfectionism Becomes an Obvious Problem
It should be said that not every perfectionist needs help or intervention. However, there are initial red flags that may indicate to you that your perfectionism has become toxic.
For example:
Failing to meet a goal leads to panic, or causes you to worry obsessively about projected/potential consequences.
You often consider the disappointment of others and your choices are largely centered around these worries.
The amount of time it takes to submit a project, leave the house, or initiate a task is starting to inconvenience you or others.
Minor mistakes and shortcomings may feel colossal and hard to emotionally recover from.
Although many people may not even consider their perfectionist tendencies as a problem, there definitely are times that it can be harmful to one’s mental health. Taking the time to address your perfectionist tendencies can allow you to achieve better mental health. Seeking help and finding methods to control anxiety may very well be the key to a more balanced sense of perfectionism.
Look to Imperfection as a Way to Heal
While it may sound scary or even counterintuitive, one of the more mindful ways to recover from chronic perfectionism is to embrace the human tendency for error. Many perfectionists are much harder on themselves than others. So, when they make mistakes, they are much more likely to respond with negativity than they would if they were dealing with a friend or loved one. Therefore, one of the best things any perfectionist can do is give themselves permission to be incorrect, a failure, imperfect, and an occassional disappointment to peers (and themselves).
All of us will undoubtedly make mistakes and fail no matter how hard we try, or how badly we want to be perfect. But as we learn, these harsher moments are part of our unique journies to understanding humanity, understanding ourselves, and understanding the people around us. They can provide us with perspective, they can also encourage us to find a new path.
When you experience negative consequences, find the freedom to accept them as the lessons and experiences they're meant to be. Take the time to give yourself whatever permissions you felt were denied after trauma, a mistake, or childhood. Forgive your shortcomings, learn to love yourself where you are, and exercise control over the things you can't accept. Most importantly, make an effort to accept the things you can't control.
